Being Wise Twenty-One

Orchids in my kitchen

Beeing Wise Twenty-One June 28, 2021

Why was I seeing strange images

when I lay in the tube to have my brain

photographed? The doctors who studied

the pictures were triumphant. “You definitely

have CAA, When you couldn’t use your

left hand, it was because of a bleed in your

brain. This will get worse. You’ll have little

seizures. There are medicines.” They sent

me home with a list. I looked up the side-

effects. Nothing I want to risk. My doctor

and I will talk it over. She listens to me.

A doctor who listens, tells me her thoughts, 

and lets me choose is all I ask. I came home

from the Emergency Department discouraged.

No new signs of little seizures. I have a huge

pile of dishes to wash. I’ll wash them soon.

A little at a time. I’ll get back to my ususal

routine. So far my episodes aren’t painful,

though they take me by surprise. My left hand

won’t work, and I drop a cup. The doctors

take it very seriously. I do, too, but it’s scary.

I must be brave. Fortunately, I know how.

Being Wise Twenty

 

Judy and Sheila Crump after a Gospel Sing to raise money to fight our coal ash Dump in Moncure. Photo by Johnsie Tipton

Being Wise Twenty June 20, 2021

Here I am, safe for now.

In the wider world, there

are many threats. We have

cause to fear we’ll lose our

democracy. People try to take

away votes, let big corporations

increase their power over ordinary

citizens, push us toward poverty, 

more storms, droughts, floods,

hurricanes, make safety an illusion, 

a pipe dream. A little bird whistles

to warn us. A grievous time emerges.

May we see it in time and stop that

dictator in his tracks. Let the harsh

realities be revealed in time. A few

hate democracy, want power over us,

eager to take away our freedom. We will

have our new holiday, Juneteenth. We

will not be cast out or imprisoned. 

Our faith will pull us together.

Those intent on betrayal will 

be overcome, and our

vibrant democracy

will stand strong

and win this war.

Being Wise Nineteen

 

                

Grace with Margaret and baby Dick, 1913, China

****

Being Wise Nineteen June 13, 2021

I live with boxes and clothes.

No messages have come in

so far. Boxes of books, seeds, 

piles of clothes: gifts, hand-me-downs

for winter and summer. I don’t need

many. I don’t go out much. I sorted

the gardenias Janet brought me, the

fresh white ones from those turning

yellow, dying. I miss old friends.

I still have some. I can’t go back

into the past. But it’s still there

in my mind. Thailanna and that

loving family I won’t forget, nor 

Sam, who let me know in so many 

ways, that he loved me, valued me.

All that work we did on Grace.

He wouldn’t let me stop until I’d

discovered who all these people were:

the missionaries and their children.

A lot of women wanted that book

because Grace had mental illness.

There is plenty to do here. All I

need is the will. My shoes fit now.

I have more energy. Slowly I’ll

summon my will. I’ll tackle the

boxes, the piles of clothes. I’ll

remember to be grateful for all

the loving people I’ve had in my life.

When you’ve been loved, you’re

honor-bound to give love back.

Not brood, not despair. Life’s

riches will come.

                         Butterfly on pink zinnia summer of 2020

Being Wise Eighteen June 6, 2021

On one Friday so much happened.

I saw my foot doctor for the second

time, and she said I could wear both

shoes now. I wore the sandal going in

and both shoes going out. I was afraid

of surgery. Instead, I could put on my

shoes. She recommended the brand

Altra, more toe room. We drove to

my old shoe store, and they brought

shoes to try on. Size 12, a little larger.

They fit perfectly and didn’t pinch

at all. “Do you want to wear these home?”

“Yes.” Then I needed medicine. Today,

if possible. I got an appointment for

2:15. “What now?” asked Janet. “The

library.” And we picked up the book

that had come in. Last, we went for my

appointment with Dr. Woods and his

nurse Deb. Once I had the prescription, 

we went to CVS Drugstore. Dr. Woods

had already phoned it in. Then we went

home with shoes and pills. My feet

were tired, but I was triumphant.

I would heal now.