Sunday, August 10, 2014

This is the Life I Wanted

Figs in July recovering after winter of 2013-4 nearly killed them.


A THREAD OF LIGHT XVI.  January 5, 2014

I remember how much I wanted
to live here on my own land, growing my
food, feeding myself and my friends.
I learned how.  This is the life I wanted,
and I made it possible, with help, but
that, too, required me to keep my
inward sun aflame.  In one way, it’s all
that matters.  Exactly how we manage it
is up to us, but that inner flame 
will help us if we let it.
--A Thread of Light IV.

For Dr. Russell Harris

Today my inner flame burns bright again.
It never went out, but there was an arctic
blast that tried to extinguish it–not on
purpose but because it was focused on
an abstract goal, ignoring me, my 
essential health, the accumulated wisdom
I’ve come to from years of trusting myself
and fighting when others didn’t.  You
side-stepped that oh-so-scientific blast,
noticed my dismay and the nearly invalid
mode I’d slipped into and woke me up
with your words: “I want you to resume
your normal active life.”  It didn’t take
much to convince me.  It was there all 
the time, hovering, trying to get a foot
in the door that you stepped through
and opened wide.  These days so many
doctors don’t heal, but you do.  Those
years we argued and listened to each
other, we built trust.  It was your
diagnosis I trusted, your advice I
immediately implemented.  The flame
burns bright again.  You heal.  I tell
the story.  People will listen to us 
both now–maybe for a long time.

1 comment:

  1. Judy, it was always my dream to have a farm, but marriage got in the way of them because my husband didn't have the same dream, but we adapted. We bought four acres and he got me a horse and built a barn. I got chickens and he built a chicken coop. We got more horses and a goat, and he adapted and supported our children in 4-H. When our marriage ended, I bought my small farm, and once I got over the pain of a broken marriage, I've never been happier. There's peace in working the land no matter how small our land is.