Being Wise Fifty-Two

Judy's flower garden 2021,cosmos photo by Janet Wyatt

Another snow. This time the cars

rush by fast. We use space heaters

and our woodstove to keep warm.

I lay awake for hours, then slept

hard four more. The light behind

the window curtains is bright orange.

I remember then and dive in now.

I scrambled to think of a supper

we both like. A sweet potato for

me; fried potatoes for Tim, and 

omelet for us both. Sometimes

I can’t stay awake, and other

times I can’t sleep. But my mind

does pretty well mostly. And I’m

loved. How terrible it would be

if I weren’t loved. I have my

limits, but I do okay. Let it be

what it is. I still flourish one

way or another. And those who

love me, grieve for me, and

then I grieve, too.

Being Wise Fifty-One

 Nadya and Aleksei Belikh in Kostroma, Russia a few years ago.

Being Wise Fifty-One January 23, 2022

Soft winter until now. Chilly

in the morning, but sunny afternoons.

Like spring. Then sleet and snow

sticking to the grass, the trees,

the planted onions, the roads,

stranding the cars. Where’s the

snowplow? In Finland it would

have been out hours ago. Tim

wanted to do the wash today.

His feet will be in the snow.

It’s quite stuck to the land

now, ice underneath the snow.

A second cup of tea helps.

A blanked over my legs,

a space heater. Our woodstove

sputters and goes out. Then

it smokes. When you can warm

a corner of the house, bundle

up and live there. Snow is a

gift whenever it falls.

And you have lights. Hallelujah.

Being Wise Fifty

left to right, Dick, Gracie, and Margaret, my mother, her brother and sister in China, 1917.

Being Wise Fifty January 16, 2022

We made bread with new yeast, and Tim

helped me knead. It proved very sticky when

I put it into pans. Then we scorched the top.

The yeast kept it in loaf shape, and the inside

is perfect. Live and learn. It should have come

out sooner, but we all enjoyed it with our salmon

supper treat. No sign now of rain or ice. A little

snow on the garden rows. Our lights still work.

Tim has wood ready in case we need it, and he

split some for our guest. Some would see my

quiet life as dull. Not I. I like to read and to

write. I make more typos, but I can fix them.

Fifty poems I’ve spoken aloud last year and

now this year. My mind doesn’t hesitate

to tell its stories. I’m alive. I can still make

bread we all love. Outside all is quiet.

Inside, too.

Being Wise Forty-Nine

 Judy photo taken by her sister in late August 2021

Being Wise Forty-Nine January 9, 2022

There was a time when I felt no pain

in a normal day. Now I do, especially

when I wake up and sit up, and when

I first lie down at night. Related to my

falls maybe? Or to my disease? Last

night I was almost limp. This morning

I could see daylight beyond the curtains.

It was time to get up. Do I complain

now or simply endure? There may not

be any cure. I try hard now not to fall.

It’s a chore to drag my walker around

but I do it. I am alive, right? And the

medicine still helps. I’d like to live\

until my last book comes out. And

worse pains may lie ahead. But many

good things happen, too. My students

return to learn from me. I have help

with chores. Tim carries dishes to the

table for me. I dropped his cucumbers.

Having fed baby twins some years ago,

one at a time in the highchair, the one

on the floor eating what the other

one dropped, my standards changed.

I rinsed off the cucumber slices.

So I adapt to some pains and do

the best I can. I’m not unhappy.

Being Wise Forty-Eight

 Judy and her dog Wag, with fog behind,Wag curious. a few years ago

Being Wise Forty-Eight January 2, 2022

Our human connections tell all even

if we don’t notice. People read us, mostly

through our eyes and sometimes hear

what we don’t say. Words help though.

We can forget nominal pain, sharp twinges

once we’re up and moving around. The

connections are simple and quite potent.

Distractions don’t delay our communion

when it flows forth even when mice are

scrambling around among our papers.

Not much delays the flow of good spirits.

In the beginning I had everything to learn.

And I did. I suffered, but I healed. My

understanding increased. Truth is truth.

Patience outlives anger. Kindness wins

in the end. Small disruptions vanish.

Silence restores the temper. 

Nothing is lost.